


But now I know that I was dreaming

by oldwickedsongs



Category: Boardwalk Empire
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 02:04:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1840312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldwickedsongs/pseuds/oldwickedsongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ficathon-fill. Spoilers for history.  Character death. Carolyn and AR say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But now I know that I was dreaming

_”What’s wrong, Arnold?”  
  
You look up, catch Carolyn’s eyes and suddenly you realize you must look as tired as you feel because there’s concern in her eyes. She looks tired too; worn out but damn if it doesn’t take you several minutes to realize it because your first thought on looking at her has always been the same. She is so beautiful._ _  
  
“I’m wondering if you’ve changed your mind yet.”   
  
Every inch of the home is covered in flowers; daisies and roses, peonies and irises and it made her smile to see it, to see you although it’s been years since that smile was sincere. This use to your home, the both of you and now it’s hers and soon it won’t be because of the man across the ocean who stole your wife. Yes, you know about him but you can’t really find it in you to be angry at her not after Bobby, and Peggy and Lorraine, and not after everything else.   
  
But still, you just want to tell her, don’t leave me. Don’t do this. But your voice fails you; it always has at moments like this. You couldn’t convince Jake not to disappear, Bobby not to die and you can’t keep her near.   
  
“I think it’s for the best. For the both of us.” She replies. She sounds so tired and you wonder- half bitterly as you do, if that man makes her happy. Like you used to. Like you could again if she gave you the chance. “You seem to be enjoying yourself.”  
  
“Inez? She’s a good girl but she’s not you.” _ No one is. Don’t leave me.  _“I could leave her in a second for you.” The look in her eyes tells you you’ve said the wrong thing but she smiles anyways. You just want to hold her suddenly, it’s like a child want but you don’t. G-d you’re tired. Everything is heavy and dank, like coming in out of the rain but finding no comfort there._  
  
“Arnold, what’s wrong?” She asks again. She knows you better then you know yourself. It’s not concern, not quite and you wonder for a moment if she’s just asking for muscle memory’s sake.   
  
And you realize for the first time in your life, you’re directionless and afraid. “I owe some people a lot of money. I don’t have it.”   
  
Her hands go up to her throat, to the diamond necklace she’s wearing and it  **hurts**  too damn much to be there. Your arm aches for another hit. But you wave her off. “I just need time. You know me, kid. I got no limit.”   
  
“Please, be careful…” She stops herself from saying I love you but you pretend she did anyways.

 

* * *

 

 

“Mr. Rothstein? Shit…Mr. Rothstein what the hell happened? Mr. Rothstein- just stay awake we’ve called an ambulance. Do you know who shot you?”   
  
Your side hurts. It feels like there’s a fire in your belly, and the leaden weight in your chest is pounding now, till you can’t breathe. The cop’s young, way too young to be hauling the King of Shylocks up and into a cab. His grip on you is tentative, as if you’re going to slip away like water. He’s shaking more then you are, and you want to laugh at it but instead you just smile, and grab his hand. Your fingers slip through his because of the blood on them- your blood.   
  
“Mr. Rothstein, who did this?”  
  
You wonder if you’ll die. There’s a lot of blood and there’s a look in the kid’s eyes you’ve only ever seen in Charlie’s eyes after you sent him on a job. It seems so long ago since then. “My mother did it. Just call me a cab.”   
  
“Mr. Rothstein…”  
  
“You ply your trade, let me do mine.”  
  
It is hours later when you wake up again and there’s a woman crying beside you. For a moment you think its Inez and your hand goes for hers dutifully, but her fingers are cold, like Carolyn’s always were. There’s a split second too, when you’re afraid to open your eyes because if it’s not her you don’t think you could handle it.   
  
And when you open your eyes, she’s there and you just want to hold her but you can’t get up because your body is betraying you.   
  
“You came…”  
  
“When have I ever not been there when you need me?” She asks, and she’s stronger then you’ve ever seen her and she’s looking at you like she used to in Saratoga when you were both poor. She’s been crying and it’s your fault, like it always is but there’s a way she looks at you that tells you, it’s different this time. It doesn’t matter.   
  
“You won’t leave me, will you, Sweet? You won’t divorce me now?”  
  
“No. Never.”   
  
You're going to break that promise, you can see it in her eyes and again, you're afraid. There's too many things you want to say, to do. There's too much you have left over. It can't end like this. Not when you just got her back. Because she is back. She's yours again.   
  
"I just want to go home. Let's go home..."   
  
If she replies you don't hear her promise but the last thing you know is she is there. Perhaps that will be enough. 


End file.
